How to be a good unicorn?
We all know how different we all are and let’s face it, life would be so boring if we were all the same, and with these differences comes different needs and this is how the need for a unicorn was born.
Now when we talk about “unicorn” we are not meaning a mythical horse with a horn coming out of its head (gosh I know we all love those) but rather a very special, unique, unicorn woman or man who is willing to join a couple looking for a specific need. This need can be sexual with no strings attached or even more involved for example providing sexual support to one person and emotional support to the other and involving a unicorn can help the couple to have their needs met without feeling bad or resenting their partner.
As you can imagine, this can get pretty complicated really quickly because each person in a relationship has different ways they view the world and also different emotional levels and it is important to be able to adapt to not only one person but two. Unicorn women and men will sometimes need to be able to behave one way with one half of a couple and another way with the other person and even have to deal with conflict between these two halves. Couples looking for unicorns might also have one person who is resistant to the idea but is trying for the other person which means the unicorn will need to take care to not cause jealousy. Navigating a relationship between two people is hard enough and even just thinking about navigating a relationship of three people can be exhausting and that’s why it is so important to set some ground rules with your couple looking for a unicorn. If you compare this with setting objectives for yourself, you cannot have unrealistic expectations otherwise they become unachievable and it is no different in relationships.
To actually enable yourself to be a good unicorn you need to have a partnership with your couple, remember you are not an employee! This means that you will not only understand what needs you are fulfilling but will also ensure each person in the couple knows what they can expect from you upfront. All three of you need to advocate for your needs, you are all human after all! Setting boundaries also becomes super important here, unicorn men and women need to establish if one-on-one dates (sexual or not) are allowed, are you free to date other people or couples and agree to what times are acceptable for everyone involved. Make sure you do not make any assumptions!
Now that we’ve covered the elephant in the room (lol) lets look at the soft we side here. As a unicorn woman or man, take the time to talk to your couple both together and separately to understand who they are and their feelings. This makes it easy for you to pick up when there is a change in the atmosphere and you can have control whether it means suggesting a break or even addressing changes to each other’s needs. With all three of you on the same page you can also get your satisfaction, remember this relationship should be beneficial and fun for you as well.